Fat White Mormon Boy... A Diary

Anxiously Engaged

2011-12-20T12:37:00.000-07:00

Are you ready for the news of the ~~century~~? ~~decade~~? ~~year~~? ~~month~~? OK... can it at least be the news of the week?! I'm engaged to be married to the beautiful Ms. Caroline Jayne Warner! We're planning on being wed on Saturday, April 21, in the LDS Temple in Oakland, CA. We'll have a reception that night in Morgan Hill, and an open house about a week later in Colorado Springs. We are both so happy, and are really enjoying spending time together. I'll be here in CO for a few more days, and then we're heading out to CA for a week with the Borgias. Anyhoo... I want to write down the story of how this happened, if not for y'all to read, for my own journalistic purposes. (I'm a terrible journal writer, but I like to blog).

First I'll give you the readers digest version of our relationship (if you already know this story and just want this week's update, feel free to scroll): Carrie and I met during high-school choir. I had a major crush on her throughout most of that time, and she somehow tolerated my cheesy advances. Junior year I took her to winter ball, and then we travelled together to Germany that Spring with the GHS Chamber Choir. Sadly, in between our junior and senior years her family moved to Colorado Springs. She visited a few times, and I ended up flying her out for senior prom. After graduation we started school at different colleges, and after a few months our relationship temporarily fizzled.

After returning home from my mission in Jacksonville, Florida, Carrie and I started talking on the phone again. We'd exchanged a few letters while I was in Florida, but not much. I remember the first time I called her I was eating pizza waiting to go into the movie theatre to see what ended up being the worst movie ever. (Never go see Duplicity, it's stoopid beyond belief). It was nice to talk to her again, but those old lovey feelings were still kept at bay. After a few weeks of talking every once in a while (once a week - ish) on the phone, Carrie told me that she was applying to go to the BYU Jerusalem Center during Winter 2010, and suggested that I should apply too. By this time I was starting to have feelings for Carrie, and Jerusalem sounded awesome, so I applied. Both of us got in, and we started talking more often, excitedly talking about our preparations to go. Sometime in early October, I was talking to Carrie whilst pacing in front of the HFAC (BYU's music building). I remember that I sat down on a bench by the Wilk, and I told Carrie that I was having feelings for her again and wanted to see where it would lead. She responded that she was feeling similarly. From that point on (and much to the chagrin of my roommates at the time) we talked pretty much every night. Our longest conversation was 4.5 hours!!! Around Halloween Carrie decided to come out and visit to feel out where we were at. We went to a concert, and drove up to Rexburg together to visit her roommates. It was a lot of fun, and made me like her even more. She felt good about it as well, although she wanted to go slower (ever the sensible one, she pointed out that we wouldn't be allowed to date in Jerusalem). At the end of our trip we determined to try and slow down by talking only a few times a week. That lasted roughly two days.

In January we both arrived in Provo, ready to go to Jerusalem. I took her out for dinner, and I distinctly remember her snuggling up to me in the booth. Amazing! Then the next morning we got to the airport and flew all freaking day. In Jerusalem things were good/complicated. We were keeping things on the sly, which was hard for both of us since we're big on words of affirmation and physical touch. It was driving me crazy not being able to cuddle with her or tell her how I was feeling. After about a month we broke up. This ended up being (in my opinion) really good for us. We'd gone pretty quickly to romance after my mission, and we needed time to get to know each other again. The rest of our Jerusalem experience was amazing, and was a good buildup for our future relationship.

After Jerusalem I went back to Provo and Carrie went to school in Rexburg. She visited a few times. Nothing too exciting. I dated around, she dated, obviously none of that stuck. I tried to get over Carrie, but it didn't work too well. The way I said it to my friends was that I was "flammable", that the tiniest spark from Carrie would set me back aflame. Then, in May of this year, I went back to the Middle East for a three-month internship in Jordan. Within a week of my getting there, I received an email from Carrie. It went something like "Why did you leave when I have so much I need to talk to you about?!" I quickly replied that she could email/Facebook/Skype me whenever she wanted. That night we had a long conversation over Facebook chat (long distance relationships suck, btw, particularly transatlantic ones!) where we discussed everything. We talked about what happened in Jerusalem, what happened when we tried to date others, etc. My favorite part of the convo was when Carrie suggested that we should try dating again. My heart did flips and had a dance party; I was once more all aflame. We determined that, since we were destined to have a mostly long distance relationship, that we would take it slow. We would just talk more, not dating, and then we'd decide what to do when I visited her in Mesa in August. Quite unsurprisingly, that didn't last. By the end of May I had told her that I loved her, by June we referred to each other as boyfriend/girlfriend, and by July/August I was daydreaming about marrying her all over again.

I visited her in August, which was wonderful, and secured our relationship. That's when she told me that she loved me back, and it was blissful. During fall semester she visited me in Provo twice, and I went down to Mesa two more times. We also talked on the phone pretty much every single day. One day towards the end of October we were on the phone, and we started talking about marriage. I had always imagined that that would be really nerve-racking and awkward. On the contrary, it felt completely natural. I remember getting off of the phone and thinking "Hmmm... I think I'm sorta engaged now!" A few weeks later I bought the ring, and soon we were wedding planning (all to the teasing of my dad: "You kids, when I was your age I proposed before we did any of this!"). It's true, we did things kind of out of order, but that's what happens when you live in different states.

Anyhoo, on to the good part!

I had been planning on proposing on a sleigh ride with dinner for two near Denver; I had the reservations about a month in advance. However, the day before I went out, I called to confirm the reservation; I found out that the dinner and sleigh ride were with a group. Frantic, my brother Jonathan and I went over to my cousin Deveren's house. We brainstormed with him and his wife Kiara, and came up with a wonderful plan... stay tuned.

I flew in to Denver Sunday morning (Dec. 18th). Carrie picked me up and we went to church with her brother David and his family (who, btw, are awesome). After spending some time with them we headed off to Granby, CO, where the sleigh ride was. It was fun, cold, and romantic, and we had a very good time. Then we drove to her parents house in Colorado Springs. When we got there, I invited Carrie (and her mom) to watch a YouTube video with me. My little brother, Jonathan, is an awesome musician, and Carrie and I had kind of adopted one of his love songs as the theme song of our relationship. I told Carrie that Jonathan had just finished a new version, and wanted our feedback. The video started like normal, but when it got to the bridge, the music faded and I came onto the screen. I acted like I was being interviewed about Carrie, and I talked about all of the things that I loved about her. That's when I got down on my knee, pulled out the ring, and asked her to marry me. When the video had come on, Carrie's mom was kind of like "Uh, do you want me here?". Then we I started proposing, she booked it out of there, wanting to leave us alone, although she came back down later to offer congrats. Then we Skyped with my family, and Carrie fit right in, goofy faces & accents & all.

So, there you have it! We are so excited to be engaged. I am still growing to love Carrie more and more every day. I'm so happy that I get to be with her for the rest of my life and for all eternity, and can't wait to have a family with her.

Cast All Your Votes for Dancing

2011-10-31T08:22:00.001-07:00

A really good friend shared a poem on her blog, and I loved it so much that I stole it and am sharing it with you. It's by Hafiz and was translated by Daniel Ladinsky. I love the imagery it provides, and to me represents my relationship with God. Read... and enjoy!

Cast All Your Votes for Dancing

I know the voice of depression
Still calls to you.

I know those habits that can ruin your life
Still send their invitations.

But you are with the Friend now
And look so much stronger.

You can stay that way
And even bloom!

Keep squeezing drops of the Sun
From your prayers and work and music
And from your companion's beautiful laughter.

Keep squeezing drops of the Sun
From the sacred hands and glance of your Beloved
And, my dear,
From the most insignificant movements
Of your own holy body.

Learn to recognize the counterfeit coins
That may buy you just a moment of pleasure,
But then drag you for days
Like a broken man
Behind a farting camel.

You are with the Friend now.
Learn what actions of yours delight Him,
What actions of yours bring freedom
And Love.

Whenever you say God's name, dear pilgrim,
My ears wish my head was missing
So they could finally kiss each other
And applaud all your nourishing wisdom!

O keep squeezing drops of the Sun
From your prayers and work and music
And from your companions' beautiful laughter

And from the most insignificant movements
Of your own holy body.

Now, sweet one,
Be wise
Cast all your votes for Dancing!

AAAAND HE'S OFF!!!

2011-05-08T21:10:00.000-07:00

OK everyone, I know I promised a post, and here it is... even if it is a day before I leave. The past 2 weeks have been crazy busy but fun. Here's a crazy fast yet oh-so-fun recap:

Finals sucked, but then they were done. My Arabic professor even brought homemade hummus! Then, I packed up my stuff, picked up my BORING riders from the rideboard (they never talked... weird), and drove the windy road back to California- making EXCELLENT time, I might add. I spent a lovely three days at home with the fam (minus Jonathan). During these restful days I got to see Andrea's awesome play, Thoroughly Modern Millie, plus the weird-yet-good movie 'Hanna', and have Easter dinner with the fam. Then it was off to DC...

The trip to DC was mostly boring. However, it has an exciting conclusion! You see, the whole time I carried Jonathan's acoustic guitar with me. But alas, when I arrived at Dulles I forgot it at baggage claim. I didn't realize this problem until 10 minutes after we'd left the airport. Deveren turned the car around (which is an entirely different story), even though we both knew the guitar would be gone. As I ran into the baggage claim area, I heard a voice over the PA system announcing that someone had left a guitar, and that it was at the Southwest office. Alhamdulillah! The guitar was saved!!!

Working in DC has been sweet. Not only have I made some moola, but I've been able to geek out over historical stuff! We spent both of our post-church Sunday's in DC at the Smithsonian museums checking everything out. I even took some sweet pics, observe:

And now for tonight's story: Jonathan and I went with some friends to see 'The Conspirator', which is a totally awesome movie! On the drive home I was checking my emails and I saw one from Continental Airlines. Now, I should explain that for the past 2 weeks I thought I was leaving Tuesday the 10th for Jordan. However, as I read this email I realized that my flight leaves tomorrow, not Tuesday. Oops! Holy freaking crap oops! So, thank goodness for the otherwise useless email that served as a much needed reminder of when I was leaving.

So, tomorrow I'll be gone for 3 months. But do not despair! I'm keeping a blog while I'm over there, and I'll still be checking my email. So keep tabs on my adventures, and keep in touch! Love y'all!

Portrait

2011-04-16T11:43:00.000-07:00

So my awesome cousin Adam is about to graduate from BYU's illustration program. He did a head painting of me, and it's awesome! And yes... I was able to hold still for a whole 2 hours!

Also, I know I haven't posted in a while... finals are this week. Afterwards...

Single's Awareness Day

2011-02-13T17:42:00.000-07:00

In light of tomorrow's holiday:

But that doesn't mean I'm stopping! ;)

Look Not Behind Thee...

2011-01-17T19:06:00.000-07:00

Why hello y'all! It's been an interesting past month, and I have lots to share.

I'll start with my most recent exciting news... I'M GOING TO JORDAN!!! No, not the small town in Utah... the country in the Middle East!!!

It's an internship through BYU. Most likely I'll either be doing office work in Amman with one of their government ministries, or I could end up teaching English in a rural town. How freaking awesome is that?!?!?! I am really excited to be able to practice my Arabic skillz, and hopefully become more fluent. I'll be leaving at the beginning of May and returning in August. On the way back, I'm going to visit my mission peeps in Jacksonville, FL!

Speaking of Arabic, it continues to go well. 102 is great, and so far much less stressful than 101. I do have another swear-word-but-not-really to offer to you: فكر, pronounced (fakkar), which means "to think about". Who knew that Arabic would be so racy?! ;) The rest of my classes are pretty awesome. I'm in a 2-in-1 English class that reviews both British and American literature while looking at the relationship between the two. So far my only HW has been to read awesome books, so no complaints there! I'm also in an international development class that's required for my internship. Even after just the first 2 meetings I've been thinking about minoring in it! I totally love it. And of course there's choir, which continues to be amazing. Speaking of choir, there's going to be a free concert on the BYU campus on Jan. 28 for any of y'all here in Utah that would like to go. I mean, I'll be there, so it'll be a par-tay!!! Ask me for the info!

And now for the traditional Arabic-vid. Please enjoy:

Now I'll step back and talk about Christmas break. It ended up being really busy and stressful, but was also great and fun. A few days after I got home was my Grandpa Borgia's funeral service in San Jose. It was a beautiful service. The Spirit was so strong in directing our grief into a faith-promoting experience. Rather than getting up and weeping about our grandpa, together we testified about the restored gospel of Jesus Christ. [Just in case you were curious, I didn't cry. Alas, I'm now at 14 years of dry eyes (except for when I yawn...)]. Anyhoo... back to the overview. My grandma Borgia was able to stay with our family through Christmas and New Years and it was such a blessing to have her. She is such a strong and amazing woman.

Now that we're in the New Year, I've been thinking a lot about changes and progression and all that cliche stuff that I'm supposed to think about around this time of year. There are some more obvious changes I'm making: I just started P90X along with a healthier diet, my new classes, new study habits, new goals regarding my time management and my spiritual progression. However, with that being said, this year I haven't felt an overwhelming desire to change my behaviors. Rather, I feel that I need to work on changing my attitude... the small things that I'm now realizing have been dictating my life. And so I'm looking forward to this New Year as a time to change for the better, even if in small but simple ways.

Love ya!
-Jeremy

PS- is anyone even reading this? I mean, it's useful for me to keep this as a type of journal anyway, but I wonder if anyone else is even interested enough to read this...

Fall 2010

2010-12-16T10:58:00.001-07:00

Wow! So this past semester was a bit crazier than I anticipated. Sorry for the post-drought (if anyone's even reading this...). Anyhoo... a lot has happened, and I'll try to talk about some of it.

Arabic 101 has been an awesome class that has nonetheless kicked my teeth in. Really once I learned the alphabet the language became much less intimidating. Still, a language where hocking a loogie translates to 'sister' can be confusing. Also, there are some fun words that sound like swear words. Examples, you ask? موظفك (moowuthuphak) means "your male employee", الشتاء (shitta) means "winter" (and quite fittingly, I might add), فقط (fukat) means "only", and كنت (koont) means "I was". I'm sure I'll have more to share as time goes on. Stay tuned for that!

I feel victorious because my roommates have informed me that I now speak some Arabic in my sleep. I have yet to confirm whether it's actual Arabic or just jumbled jibberish (which I speak fluently in my sleep), but I would love to believe that even as I slumber I'm practicing my vocabulary. However, no amount of practicing could have prepared me for the final that I took yesterday. It kicked my teeth in hardcore. After 2 1/2 hours of agonizing over it, I had done all that I could. Even with that, I estimated a 68% for my score. Pretty optimistic, eh? Grrrrr... The upside? Homemade hummus that my professor brought. So, it wasn't a complete waste.

Along with my study of the Arabic language, I've been able to study the Arabic and Islamic cultures, which has cemented my standing as a liberal hibby here in Provo. I never realized how Islamaphobic America was until I got back from the Middle East. As the "Ground Zero Mosque" debate exploded (which is ridiculous, btw... don't even get me started) I saw so much bigotry and naivety and it really frustrated me. My facebook became the site of some political bashings as my redneck mission friends battled with my CA liberal hippy friends with my fellow Jerusacruisers attempting to mediate (or initiating more bashing). So, with that backdrop, my study of the Arabic and Islamic cultures was even more rich and rewarding. In my language class, we focused on the general Arabic culture, and it's fascinating. We read a book, called "Understanding Arabs", that I really wish I had read before I went to the Middle East. I highly recommend it for anyone interested in that beautiful culture. I also took a class on the Humanities of Islam this semester. Although it was more difficult than anticipated, it was still interesting. My favorite part of the class? Film! We had 2 or 3 weeks where our HW was to watch movies from the Islamic world, and then we would come to class and watch more! Amazing!

Please excuse a short "YouTube" break... Enjoy the Arabic singing!!!

OK... now back to our regularly scheduled programming. I shall now rant to you about my crazed English teacher. I had 2 English classes this semester. One of them=sweet! My night class=terrible. It was British Literature, and all my teacher did was go off on tangents. What's the problem? you may ask. Well, she would test us as if she'd stayed on target the whole time. Ugh. For one test review, she actually suggested we look some people up on Wikipedia because she hadn't gone over them in class but they would be on the test. Which brings me to my next point... I have no idea what my GPA is going to look like this semester... even here at the end of finals week. With my kamikaze Arabic final (excuse the possible non-political-correctness), the vague expectations of my Humanities teacher, and the ramblings of my BritLit teacher, my expectations are still pretty ambiguous. So... I guess it'll just be a surprise.

Still, I consider this one of my favorite semesters at BYU thus far. For one, I finally feel at home here, rather than feeling like a foreign visitor. (Even if the snow does test my commitment...) Also, even after describing the chaos of my classes, at least I'm finally studying the things that I'm actually interested in. Never again will you catch my butt in a science or math class!!! I've loved my roommates this semester. Once again I'm living with my cousin Adam, and I get along really well with everyone else. Our only incident has been the great dish meltdown of October... but we've moved past it. ;)

I know I'm beginning to bore you (and I realize I have a final in 10 minutes... oops!) but one last thing just happened this last week. At Thanksgiving, Grandpa Borgia was admitted to the hospital to have his gallbladder removed. About two weeks later, on Sunday December 12, he passed away. It's been an interesting time, since finals have dictated that I still have to be productive with my time. Although there is some sadness, I am surprised by the calm that I have felt. I found out Sunday night as I was singing in a devotional at the MTC. There, we sang a spiritual about those crossing into the next world. The words go like this:

"On Jordan’s stormy banks I stand,
And cast a wishful eye
To Canaan’s fair and happy land,
Where my possessions lie.

O the transporting, rapturous scene,
That rises to my sight!
Sweet fields arrayed in living green,
And rivers of delight!

Filled with delight my raptured soul
Would here no longer stay;
Though Jordan’s waves around me roll,
Fearless I’d launch away.

I am bound for the promised land,
I am bound for the promised land;
Oh who will come and go with me?
I am bound for the promised land."

As much as I miss my grandfather, I am confident that he has moved on the the "promised land", to continue his work in the service of God. The Spirit has been an amazing comfort to me and to my family, strengthening my testimony of and reliance on Him.

One Last Hurrah

2010-08-28T17:09:00.000-07:00

Hey there anybody who might be reading this! So, I know it's been a little while, sorry. Utah proved to be too much of a distracting place to work, so I ended up spending the last 2 weeks of the sales season in Nebraska. The sales there were good, but I don't anticipate ever wanting to go to Nebraska ever again. It was hot & humid like unto Florida, tons of bugs (including crickets who have taken over), and the people there were, um... interesting. Still, the money was good, and at least I had Deveren there to keep me sane. Neither of us had a car there, so when we weren't working we pretty much chilled at the hotel, except for when we ventured across the street to see a movie, "Scott Pilgrim vs. the World", which was weird and trippy and hilarious and good.

Thankfully, I got home to Provo Wednesday and have been partying ever since! My little brother Jonathan moved in with me and my cousin Adam, so my mom and his girlfriend Sarah came out to see him off. It was fun to hang with them and have some quality time with them. It still hasn't really hit me that Jonathan is now my college-age roommate, but I figure that'll come.

In other news, I am a tid bit stressed out about classes starting on Monday, just because once they start, they will engulf my life. Hopefully I'll still have time to write some updates.

Sorry for the dry blog post, but I gotta finish getting everything ready. I'll update you soon!

A Taste of Zion

2010-08-11T15:18:00.001-07:00

This past week I was having a discussion with a very good friend. She was asking me about my time in Jerusalem. I claimed that it had been a life changing experience, and she asked me what I thought specifically had been so dramatically changing. The first thing that came to mind was the social aspect, which was indeed life changing. But as I vocalized that, it sounded shallow. It made me think outloud,"what was so lifechanging about the social aspect of my semester there?". I would like to share my conclusion with you.

I had the thought come to mind that the 4 months I spend at the BYU-JC had been the closest I had come thus far to experiencing Zion. We lived together, ate, studied, worshipped, traveled, sang, slept, and cried together. We shared numerous profoundly spiritual experiences with each other, braiding together the fabrics of our testimonies. This change was not entirely noticeable when we were still there. It simply felt like, rightfully so, we were best friends. However, once we had separated I realized how much more it had become. When I had the opportunity to talk or visit with one of my jerusa-family members, I felt the Spirit very strong. Associated with the memory of these special people were a slew of profound experiences that had helped to reshape me.

As I realized this, it set a new standard for relationships with others. I want my relationship with family, friends, and especially my future spouse, to also inspire meto be better. I want my meetings with those to remind me of gospel truths. I want our lives and testimonies to buoy each others up.

I am thankful for his realization of how much I was able to change in Jerusalem, and I am excited and anxious to establish Zion-like relationships throughout me life.

"Next year in..."

Ground Zero "Mosque"

2010-08-06T12:40:00.000-07:00

Here's an article I read on Slate about the current debate involving the construction of an Islamic community center a few blocks from Ground Zero. I liked it, so I thought I'd share:

Muslims, Keep Out
The Republican campaign against a Ground Zero mosque.
By William Saletan

The latest plot against America, we're told, is smoldering in the ashes of 9/11. A Muslim organization wants to build a "community center," including a mosque, two blocks from the site of the fallen World Trade Center. Republicans and leaders of other faiths are rallying against the mosque, calling it a threat to American values. But the threat to our values isn't coming from the mosque. It's coming from those who want to stop it.
The stated mission of the organization behind the project, the Cordoba Initiative, is to build "interfaith tolerance and respect." The center would include a library, gym, auditorium, and restaurant. Its purpose would be "promoting integration, tolerance of difference," and "inter-community gatherings and cooperation." The initiative's chairman, Imam Feisal Abdul Rauf, has denounced church burnings in Muslim countries, rejected Islamic triumphalism over Christians and Jews, and proposed to reclaim Islam from violent radicals such as Osama Bin Laden.
Despite these assurances, a stream of politicians and religious leaders has come out against the mosque. On May 14, Rep. Peter King, R-N.Y., called the project "particularly offensive" because "so many Muslim leaders have failed to speak out against radical Islam, against the attacks" of 9/11. Later, as paraphrased by the Associated Press, King said "ground zero may not be an appropriate spot for this or any proposed mosque."
Over the next month, Republicans added new arguments. They said the mosque might end up being funded by radicals. They said Rauf hadn't condemned Hamas. They said he had faulted U.S. policies for contributing to the 9/11 attacks. But their core position predated and superseded these arguments: Muslim worshippers, keep out.
On July 1, Quinnipiac University released a poll showing that New York city voters opposed the mosque. The question mentioned nothing about Hamas or sponsorship. It described the project as "a proposal by a Muslim group to build a Muslim mosque and cultural center two blocks from Ground Zero." By a margin of 52 percent to 31 percent, respondents said they opposed the idea.
A week later, Rick Lazio, New York's leading Republican candidate for governor, held a press conference to decry the project. He framed it as a threat to New Yorkers' "personal security and safety." Then he stood proudly beside Debra Burlingame, the co-founder of 9/11 Families for a Safe and Strong America, as she accused Rauf of hatching the mosque plot "to bring people to Islam" and create "a Muslim-dominant America." Burlingame said "creating an Islamic presence" near Ground Zero would serve as propaganda for "people who want to hurt this country."
Three days after the Lazio-Burlingame press conference, former New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani joined the opposition. He charged that "it not only is a mosque that's in exactly the wrong place, right at Ground Zero, but it's a mosque supported by an imam who has a record of support for causes that were sympathetic with terrorism." These were two distinct objections: Regardless of Rauf's politics, there shouldn't be "a mosque" at the site.
On July 20, Sarah Palin weighed in. "To build a mosque at Ground Zero is a stab in the heart of the families of the innocent victims of those horrific attacks," she wrote on her Facebook page. She went on to cite the arguments about Hamas and the project's uncertain funding. But her core argument echoed Giuliani's: Any mosque at Ground Zero was wrong. The next day, Newt Gingrich raised the ante: "There should be no mosque near Ground Zero in New York so long as there are no churches or synagogues in Saudi Arabia." A week later, he added: "It is simply grotesque to erect a mosque at the site of the most visible and powerful symbol of the horrible consequences of radical Islamist ideology."
In rejecting any mosque near Ground Zero, Republicans are in tune with public opinion. A Rasmussen survey released on July 22 asked adults nationwide, "Do you favor or oppose the building of a mosque near the 9/11 Ground Zero site in New York City?" They opposed it, 54 percent to 20 percent.
The anti-mosque movement isn't confined to politicians. Several religious leaders have joined it. In May and June, opponents of the mosque plan posted a statement from "Hindu leader" Dr. Babu Suseelan. He declared:
60% of Islamic scriptures are political dealing with treatment of infidels, non believers and 31% is about Jihad, how to make the infidel submit to Islam through deceit and terror. … What is a Mosque? The Islamic Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdogan [of Turkey] said it clearly: "Mosques are our barracks, the Domes are helmets, the minarets are bayonets and the faithful are soldiers." … We should not allow a huge barrack (Mosque) where Imams can preach hatred and train soldiers who [have] no faith in our constitution or liberty.
On July 22, Dr. Richard Land, president of the Southern Baptist Convention's Ethics and Religious Liberty Commission, lent Christian support to the assault:
I believe that putting a mosque at Ground Zero, or very close to Ground Zero, is unacceptable. … Even though the vast majority of Muslims reject that ideology and condemned their actions on Sept. 11, 2001, it still remains a fact that the people who perpetrated the 9/11 attack were Muslims and proclaimed they were doing what they were doing in the name of Islam. Given that fact, I believe that it is inappropriate for a mosque to be at Ground Zero. …
And on July 28, the Anti-Defamation League added a Jewish voice to the resistance. "Regardless" of the project's funding or connections to radical ideology, said the ADL, "building an Islamic Center in the shadow of the World Trade Center will cause some victims more pain—unnecessarily—and that is not right."
If the common thread among these polls, politicians, and religious leaders prevails—if we quash the proposed Islamic center simply because it's Muslim—what will happen to our country? In the statements of the anti-mosque movement, we can already see where their argument leads us.
1. It justifies bigotry. Don't take it from me. Take it from Abe Foxman, the ADL's national director. When the New York Times asked him how the feelings of family members of 9/11 victims could justify the ADL's opposition to the mosque, he replied, "Survivors of the Holocaust are entitled to feelings that are irrational." In the case of the 9/11 families, he argued, "Their anguish entitles them to positions that others would categorize as irrational or bigoted."
2. It justifies confining religions to ghettos. Dr. Land, the Baptist official, said religious communities are entitled to "places of worship within reasonable distance of where they live. However, no religious community has an absolute right to have a place of worship wherever they choose, regardless of the community's objections."
3. It justifies double standards against minorities. While denouncing the mosque proposal as an assault on non-Muslims, Gingrich wrote:
Last month, police in Dearborn, Mich., which has a large Muslim population, arrested Christian missionaries for handing out copies of the Gospel of St. John on charges of "disturbing the peace." They were doing so on a public street outside an Arab festival in a way that is completely permissible by law, but, of course, forbidden by sharia's rules on proselytizing. This is a clear case of freedom of speech and the exercise of religious freedom being sacrificed in deference to sharia's intolerance against the preaching of religions other than Islam.
So Muslims shouldn't worship near Ground Zero, but when Christians proselytize in Muslim areas, that's freedom of religion. And if Muslims get upset about that, it's evidence of Muslim intolerance.
4. It threatens other faiths. Comparing 9/11 to Pearl Harbor, Land asked: "Do the followers of Shinto have a right to have a shrine in Honolulu? Yes. In close proximity to the USS Arizona? No." He concluded that "it would be inappropriate to have a Japanese shrine in close proximity to the USS Arizona." Islam, Shinto—who's next?
5. It renounces pluralism. Again, don't take my word for it. Read Gingrich's words: "There should be no mosque near Ground Zero in New York so long as there are no churches or synagogues in Saudi Arabia." That's a straightforward message to illiberal Muslim regimes: If you won't rise to our level, we'll sink to yours.
6. It implies a global war on Islam. To rally Muslims against the United States, Bin Laden has repeatedly claimed we're at war with Islam. President Bush, recognizing Bin Laden's game, always exalted Islam as a peaceful religion and framed the U.S. response as a "war on terror," not on Islam. Gingrich says Bush is wrong and Bin Laden is right. In his case against the mosque proposal, Gingrich wrote:
Some radical Islamists use terrorism as a tactic to impose sharia, but others use non-violent methods—a cultural, political, and legal jihad that seeks the same totalitarian goal even while claiming to repudiate violence. Thus, the term "war on terrorism" is far too narrow a framework in which to think about the war in which we are engaged against the radical Islamists.
The mosque proposal, according to Gingrich, is an act of "cultural aggression" on behalf of "an Islamist cultural-political offensive designed to undermine and destroy our civilization." It's "all about conquest and thus an assertion of Islamist triumphalism which we should not tolerate." In short, violence is beside the point. We will now define Muslim aggression and conquest more broadly to include politics, law, and culture. And we'll start by telling Muslims not to pray near our "sacred" ground.
I can't think of a surer way to lose both our national soul and the struggle against terrorism. Yes, Mr. Gingrich and Ms. Palin, there's a cultural-political offensive afoot to undermine our civilization. And you're leading it.

Here we go again!!!

2010-08-06T12:34:00.000-07:00

So as you all are probably aware... I've been back in Provo-land for about 2 weeks now. I would like to say that the sales have been going well. I would like to say that I've been able to avoid being distracted by friends, family, dates, food, weather, temples, music, movies, laziness, ... shall I continue?! In short, I can't say either of those things which I would like to say. I've been getting understandably distracted by things which should distract me! I would be heartless if I heard about a friends wedding reception and was able to go but decided to work instead! So yesterday, whilst I was being distracted at the BYU Bookstore (shhhh! don't tell!) by all of the books that I want to buy (I limited myself to 2, thank you very much) I got a phone call from my regional. He's noticed my drop in sales, and thinks I'd do better in a different office, and wanted to know if I'd be interested in moving. My answer was that if he thought it'd be worth it then I totally would. So I am officially moving to Nebraska for the last 2 weeks of the summer. So, it's more like a business trip than moving again. Ooooh... "business trip" sounds pretty official. I'll go with it. But before that, (mostly just because I just don't feel travelled enough!) I'll be spending the weekend in New Mexico with my family at my grandparents house. My brother will be getting the Melchizedek priesthood! (Weird that he's growing up!) and my great-grandma will be celebrating her 100th birthday! Crazy stuff! This year I've been quite geographically challenged. I've been in 4 countries, and 7 states! Holy wow!

All I Can Do Is Laugh

2010-07-25T08:47:00.000-07:00

Whew! Talk about a crazy week!!! I'm at the point that when something else happens, all I can do is roll my eyes, chuckle, and look for the bright side.

On Monday morning I woke up assuming it would be a regular day, the beginning to a regular week. By lunch time Deveren came back from a phone call with our regional manager, informing us that we were moving back to Utah. You see, last week we had 4 more people quit, bringing our office total down to 6, which isn't big enough to merit being our own office. Most everyone else started packing right then, and was gone within a few hours. However, I had lent my car to a coworker for the weekend, and so she was still in Vegas! I called her, let her know what was going on, and she started the 4 hour drive back. I took advantage of that precious time to veg on my bed watching TV. A little while later, I got a phone call from her: "Have you ever had transmission problems?" she asked. Oh crappola. "Ummm, no. Why do you ask?" So apparently there was a warning light flashing and the car would barely accelerate from a complete stop. We're talking 0-60 in 5 minutes. However, she eventually got it back to freeway speeds, and so she just kept driving and we both kept our fingers crossed. That night when she got back I took it to AutoZone to have the transmission fluid checked. Unfortunately, it was completely OK. No quick fix for me! As I had driven over I had experienced exactly the problem Meredith had described. However, as I drove away, it drove perfectly! Now, some more intelligent people would take that opportunity to bring it into a shop. I, however, chose instead to pack up the car and drive from Phoenix to Provo the next day. For the record, I had no problems on the road on Tuesday.

Speaking of Tuesday! The drive went quite smoothly. I got into Provo around 8pm, just in time to hang out with some Jerusa-buddies. I was trying to follow them somewhere else, when at the same time I both lost them and my phone died. So, I headed over to Adam's for the rest of the evening. Just to keep the day interesting, I got really sick for a few hours that night. Oh yeah, it was fantastic.

Wednesday we drove around doing lots of licensing stuff from Provo to SLC to Taylorsville. The highlight of the day was most definitely the taco stand in SLC by the Delta, er, Energy Solutions, Arena. Even the pouring rain could not distract us from the gloriousness of those little tacos. For the record, I love knocking here in Utah. Between all of the weeks events, I probably got 3 full days of knocking, and I sold 4! Now I'll just focus on keeping this up. One thing I love about it here is that because everyone is LDS, everyone in a neighborhood knows each other because they're in the same ward. So when I name-drop everyone knows each other!

Wednesday I moved into my apt, which I must say is a step down from the StayBridge suites, but is still pretty cool. There's 6 guys, 3 in each bedroom. The guys are pretty cool, although I haven't had too much time to get to know them yet. 2 of them are engaged, and 1 of them is enrolled in 12 credits (which fyi is insanity for summer term! So that helps it not seem terribly crowded. It definitely has its quirks: a water heater on the fritz and an A/C thats too weak to make a difference. But still, it works!

So you thought I was finished with my crazy week, eh? NOT SO!!! Yesterday (Saturday) I was on my lunch break with (Elder) Ken Kenworthy. It was a jolly fantastic time. About a block after I dropped him off, I heard a pop from the engine and then anti-freeze sprayed all over my windshield. Needless to say, I pulled over, right as my car began to smoke. Sigh... Luckily my dad added me to AAA a few weeks ago. The bright side? This DIDN'T happen in the middle of Arizona somewhere. Also, because I'm in Mormony Utah I had 2 different people stop to offer me rides, and cold water. The car verdict: a cracked radiator that burst the hose. Joy of joys!!! And of course there's still the lurking transmission problem, all on a car which has a bluebook value of $875. So, we shall see how much longer it survives... I got a ride home and started to get ready to go back to work, and then got sick again. Sooo... I decided to call it a day. However, not having a car has been exciting so far! I was walking back from a friends last evening, and just as an experiment I stuck my thumb out as I walked. Within a few minutes, some guy pulled over to offer me a ride! So, I have now officially hitchhiked! (SHHH! Don't tell my mom!)

So since being back here in Utah I've been considering my summer and everything that has now culminated in being here, and I have to say that I'm very grateful for everything. It has helped me to grow as a person, and helped me learn things about myself. I am very grateful to be back in Utah, which was definitely a blessing is disguise. Not only has work picked up, but I am now within a doable distance of the temple, I am close to friends, and can spend some time with family here. Crazy how God works, huh?

Well... thats it! A week in my life... never boring! Stay posted!

PS- My brother's full album is out on iTunes, Amazon, and all those other music sites. Check it out! (But please don't pirate it... it's worth the money and he's not anywhere near rich enough to steal from.)

22 no more

2010-07-18T17:30:00.000-07:00

One year older. Apparently so. Wiser? Let's not get carried away! To celebrate, I worked 11 hours! Yay!!! But really, after work Tasha, her hubby Steele, and I went out to dinner and then went to see "Inception", which has to be the most amazing movie that I've ever seen in my whole life!!! Seriously! Mind=BLOWN!!! Then I went to beautiful sleep. So yeah, not terribly eventful, but still amazing.

This week has been interesting. Four more people quit from our office this week, bringing out total number of reps to six, including our manager. For a reference point, we started off with just over 30! It's definitely been a rocky summer, moving 8 times, but it's still been worth it. I've learned a lot, and made enough. AND... this may shock you... this job has turned my into a morning person. GASP! I know... it's hard to believe, but its sadly true. I'm still not as bad as my Dad, who wakes up at 6am to do yard work! ... So hopefully I can keep it up for this fall semester, where I'll have an 8am Arabic class every day! Yeah... every day. I'll keep you posted on that one.

Well... as amazingly interesting as my life is (scoff!), this is all I have report. Perhaps I should ramble or muse about something or other, but that'll just have to wait. Love ya!

2am ramblings...

2010-07-11T01:58:00.001-07:00

Hello world! It's 2am! Most human beings are asleep, but I'm being rebellious! You see, my work schedule can be a bit ridic, and so I am lashing out against my productive self. What shall I ramble about, you say? Oh I'm sure I'll find something! Hmmm...

So tonight I wrote to a friend who just entered the MTC. It got me thinking about the good ole' days in Florida (and Georgia too!). In the last few weeks I've finally began to realize how much my mission changed me. It transformed me from a push-over into a bounces-back! It solidified my testimony of the gospel. And my latest realization... it helped me feel valued and validated as a child of God. I developed habits and traits that should be life changing. However, the thing I'm realizing is I haven't allowed all of them to stick. Hmph. I went to Jerusalem seeking a new start. Running away? Not quite. Wanting to hit 'pause' on life. OK, yeah I guess. That also changed me! It brought back so many of the small, little, HUGE things that made a difference on my mission. Now I'm home (well, in North America, at least) and once again I see those changes slipping away as the status quo once again grabs me. And it pisses me off. And scares me. But also makes me want to do whatever it takes to get it back. Wow! How's that for rambling. A bit revealing I suppose, but I'm OK with it. This week is going to be different. A week from now I want to be able to kneel before my maker and account for me week and be proud of it, knowing that I became one tiny bit more like the man He is trying to help me become.

Well, if anyone is actually reading this, thanks! Feel free to comment... it feeds my ego and lets me know someone actually cares enough to read these! Until next week... SMILE!!!

PS- My brother Jonathan just released a new single! The full-length CD isn't too far behind! Check it out:

If you aren't familiar with his older stuff:

Amazingly Inconsistent, but Consistently Amazing!!!

2010-07-04T10:59:00.010-07:00

OK OK I know my last post from 3 weeks ago said I'd be doing this every week now. Get over yourselves! Hehe... so here's to trying again.

So last time we spoke, er, you know what I mean, I had just gotten to AZ... Flagstaff to be precise. For our summer, I have decided we need to just make a reality TV show. The Flagstaff episodes name? Revenge of the Subaru. You see, Missoula (MT) was full of hippies. Normally I don't mind them, in fact I have found them to be endearing (I am from CA ya know!). But you try selling a security system to one, and tell me what you think. Highlights include: "I just feel like that would bring bad energy into the house", "I don't want any electronic gadgets in the house, they're evil", and "I need to shun, rather than accept, the fear the world tries to feed me". Sigh... Anyhoo... the mark of a hippy is a Subaru Forester or Outback in the driveway. See also hemp jewelry, legalized pot, and Obama bumper stickers. So when I left Missoula I figured I was done with that era of life. WRONG!!! Flagstaff was EXACTLY the same thing! Grrr. We lasted there for 2 weeks.

We are now, after our 8TH move of the summer, in Phoenix (well, Glendale if you wanna be picky). This should be our last stop. The sales are slowly starting to pick up again. And in other news: IT'S HOT!!! This past weekend was a heat advisory. 115 degrees, getting down to around 95 in the middle of the night. It was insanity! Thank goodness it's illegal in AZ to refuse anyone water! It's kind of a sick feeling to walk outside, see that its 105, and think "Wow, this feels nice!" Relating to the job, I've created a psychological theory: How one treats a solicitor is indicative of what kind of person someone is. There are some people who are lovely and nice, even when telling you they're totally not interested. Others yell and swear until you're off of their porch. My highlight from this last week was a man who said to his teenage daughter "He's going to hell anyways!" as I turned around to leave. Yikes!

OK... now I'm done with boring job stuff. On to stuff about the rest of my boring life!!!

I have been majorly homesick for Jerusalem. I miss the places, the experiences, the languages, the food, the smells, and most of all the people. Last Sunday I watched my DVD of the slide show and it made me all mopey. What I need to remember is that I don't need to be there to have that type of an experience. My life can be just as meaningful in boring North America (not that I think it's boring, I'm just being dramatic!) as it was in Jerusalem.

Lastly, I want to wish everyone a happy 4th! I'm especially grateful for the freedoms we enjoy to worship and express ourselves freely. Let's not waste that opportunity. God Bless America!

Catching Up...

2010-06-07T09:15:00.004-07:00

So I've decided I need to actually use this. I'm going to update this every Sunday with my random thoughts for the week before. I would've done it yesterday, but I was driving all day!!! More on that later. Anyhoo... I'll quickly catch up on the last month:

I got back from Jerusalem at the end of April. It was one of the most amazing experiences of my life. I'm not going to even try and summarize it, but I did keep a blog if you want to go check it out. I got home Thursday night. Friday I ran some errands and went to see mom's opening night of 'Into the Woods'. Saturday I had lunch with the Haney's and picked up Andrea from the airport. Sunday I went to sacrament meeting, then got in the car and drove to Provo where I crashed at David's apt. Monday I woke up and drove to Billings, Montana, where I started work on Tuesday selling security systems with APX. Talk about a blur of a weekend!

Work has been going good. I've caught on pretty well, and am one of the top rookies in the office. That being said, there is still TONS of room for improvement. Our office in general was a bit slow, and so this past Thursday, at 10pm, we found out we were all moving to AZ! "On the road again..." Good riddance MT! I had had it with the weather. Some days it would be beautiful, and others it would be cold and rainy and miserable, sometimes even SNOWY!!! So I am not depressed in the least to be leaving.

Saturday morning I left MT. It was sweet because the drive afforded me the opportunity to become social for a day or two, rather than the hermit work has made me. I got to stop in Rexburg to have lunch with some Jerusa-friends: Carrie W, Chelsi, Courtney, and Marissa. We had falafel!!! Then in Provo I had dinner at Cafe Rio with my besty Laurie and my good friend Bekah. From there I got to see ridiculous amounts of Jerusalem friends, including my J-Town roommies (whose couch I crashed on). I bet you think I'm done now, BUT I"M TOTALLY NOT! THEN... I woke up and went to see Monica, a friend from freshman ward, and then Shelly and her family from home. It felt so good to see so many friends. Other random stories/facts/whatevs from the drive? I discovered that, going 80mph, I can drive at least 30 more minutes with my gas indicator light on. I still have feathers stuck to my windshield from a bird who chose an unfortunate flight path. I strengthened my already rock solid testimony in 5 hour energy shots. I pulled over, awestruck, as I entered AZ. The red rock cliffs against the blue sky caused me to break out into song: "Oh Lord my God, when I in awesome wonder consider all the works Thy hands have made... then sings my soul... how great Thou art..."

Now I'm in AZ, rested up, and excited to start work again! I hope you all have an amazing week, and I'll talk to ya soon!

Movie's I need to see

2009-10-07T22:56:00.001-07:00

OK, so there's a bunch of movies that I want to see and still haven't. I am also open to suggestions! Just be prepared to have a totally awesome movie night to invite me to / be invited to if you suggest something!

-Stranger than Fiction
-The Mothman Prophecies
-The Godfather
-Evan Almighty
-District 9
-Dead Poets Society
-One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest
-Twelve Angry Men
-Memento
-Apollo 13
-The Bridge on the River Kwai
-Elizabeth
-Schindler's List
-Slumdog Millionaire
-Glengarry Glen Ross
-Norma Rae
-The Color Purple
-Twelve O'Clock High
-Les Miserables
-Blood Diamond
-O Brother Where Art Thou
-History of the World
-Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

25 things...

2009-10-07T22:55:00.000-07:00

25 random things about me.

1- Before my mission I HATED country music. So then I was called to the Jacksonville, FL mission, and spent 6 months in Georgia. Alas, I now love most of country... especially Rascal Flatts!!!
2- I really do not like marshmallows. I hate Rocky Road for that reason, and for s'mores, I leave it out and have just a Hershey's bar on top of a graham cracker, which I must say is QUITE superior... and much less sticky.
3- When I'm really tired my left eye twitches. One time, I was SO tired I think my body got confused and my right eye started twitching.
4- Although I like to act like I have my life entirely mapped out... I really have no clue. And I'm not in a rush. However, once I really know what I want, get outta my way, 'cuz you better believe I'm going to do it!
5- When I was little I saw a Yanni concert featuring a woman playing the electric violin, and I totally wanted to play! I took lessons for 2 years, but then quit so I could do community theatre instead
6- I am OCD! I need things organized (although if you took a look at my room you might think otherwise) and mapped out. If my routine gets messed up, OH NO!!! Example: I will tell myself that starting next week I will really do good at working out. If something happens Monday, I probably won't go the rest of the week, 'cuz that messed up my routine.
7- As I said before, I served a mission for the Savior in Jacksonville, FL. It was the best 2 years of my life... so far. It was AMAZING to be able to teach people about the Restoration of Christ's gospel on the earth, 24/7! Every day I could look back and see where I made a difference. I still try to teach and serve, but I'll admit that there are days where I can't tell if I've made a difference, and that's depressing!
8- I love guacamole!!! Especially on a ham & cheese sandwich!
9- My favorite kind of chips are Doritos Spicy Sweet Chili
10- I have a MacBook, and a week after buying it I decided I will never again own a PC
11- My favorite movie EVER is Moulin Rouge. Runner ups include: Nightmare Before Christmas, A Beautiful Mind, The Dark Knight, and Clue
12- I sang for 3 semesters in the BYU Men's Chorus, and I plan on going back this fall. I had the amazing opportunity to sing in General Conference, but my favorite concert was singing at the ACDA convention in SLC, where the nation's choral directors were gathered.
13- I read while I poop. Currently I'm reading "7 Habits of Highly Effective People"
14- I have never been to the ER... at least for myself. However, Jonathan TOTALLY makes up for that
15- I somewhat know how to tap dance, because I took a tap class for about a year when I was about 9 or 10
16- I am a server at Mimi's Cafe. I have come to the conclusion that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she treats their waiter. Some people realize they're actual human beings, whilst others treat us like inferior servants who dream about obeying their orders
17- I am REALLY trying to quit drinking soda. However, in times of weakness, favorites include Mountain Dew or Root Beer
18- I generally despise Mormon culture in it's extremes. So obviously, as a glutton for punishment, I chose to go to school in Provo, UT... within the depths of the bubble.
19- I am heartless. I haven't cried since April of 1997... 12+ years!!! If you can make me cry... I'll make you a cookie!
20- I LOVE doing/watching theatre. I've been in: The Little Mermaid, Pirates of Penzance, Escape from Blue Planet, Wash Your Troubles Away, Oklahoma, Grease, Robin Hood, The Wiz, Sugar, Footloose, and Annie Get Your Gun. I just saw Wicked in SFO with my family and it was AMAZING!!!
21- I get claustrophobic in caves. I went once for a scouting thing... NEVER AGAIN!!!
22- I generally suck at sports. For years my Dad tried to teach me basketball, but alas, I still do the granny shot. I do enjoy volleyball though, because it's possible to enjoy even if you're not good
23- I have taken 3 semesters of American Sign Language at BYU, and I'll be auditing a class this coming fall. I got introduced to it by a fluke in my class schedule in 7th grade, and have loved it ever since.
24- I have Gilbert's disease, which pretty much just means that when I'm dehydrated or stressed I jaundice. That's it!!! Who wouldn't want to glow in the dark?!
25- I love life! I consider myself an outgoing guy who takes life as seriously as it needs to be taken, leaving plenty of room for fun and learning. After all, as cliche as it might sound, the only thing you can take with you beyond this life are experiences, knowledge, relationships, and faith.

Feel free to comment, whether its an elaboration about something I said, something else I forgot, or whatever. Also, I'd like to see 25 things about you!!!

Marriage

2009-05-27T11:14:00.001-07:00

I just wanted to publicly settle what my beliefs and opinions are regarding this recent hot topic of gay marriage. Before I say anything else, let me say that I have several friends who have chosen this lifestyle, and although I don't agree with their decision, I respect their God-given ability to choose for themselves. Allow me to also say that, while I am opposed to same-sex marriage, I support civil-unions.

Proponents of same-sex marriage have called for marriage equality. However, marriage equality already exists, because marriage is clearly defined as between a man and a woman. For example, everyone has an equal opportunity to get a degree in English. However, one must choose to actually study English and fulfill all of the requirements. It would be quite silly for me to take all of the required Sociology classes, and then demand a degree in English. Likewise, all people have an opportunity to marry, but if they choose a different lifestyle, that doesn't mean we need to change the definition (which has been around for THOUSANDS of years) to include them.

My proposed solution is that the government should get out of the marriage business for good. Marriage is a religious ceremony instituted by God himself. Rather, the government should issue civil-unions to any two consenting adults, and if they so choose they can also have a religious marriage ceremony.

As for the Supreme Court's decision yesterday, as soon as it went to the court, the issue was no longer gay-marriage... it was whether or not we're actually a government by the people. Whether you agree with it or not, Prop 8 passed, and it would've scared me A LOT if the Supreme Court had voided the people's decision. But to my relief, the courts established yesterday that CA is still a government by the people.

In closing:
Through modern day prophets, the Lord has said:
"All human beings—male and female—are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny. Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose...
The family is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan. Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity. Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ."

"The Fellowship of the Unashamed"

2009-05-27T11:13:00.000-07:00

"The Fellowship of the Unashamed"
Given by torrey L. Korab, a BYU Student,
on the RMYL 497R class field trip, Fall Semester, 1999

"I am part of the fellowship of the unashamed. The dye has been cast. I have stepped over the line. The decision has been made. I am a disciple of Jesus Christ. I won't look back, let up, slow down, or be still. My past is redeemed, my present makes sense, and my future is secure. I'm finished and done with low living, small planning, smooth knees, colorless dreams, tamed visions, world talking, cheap giving, and dwarfed goals. I no longer need pre-eminence, positions, promotions, Plaudits, or popularity. I don't have to be right, first, recognized, praised, regarded, or rewarded. I now live by faith, lean on His presence, walk with patience, am lifted by prayer, and labor with power. My face is set, my gait is fast, my goal is Heaven. My road is narrow, my way is rough, my companions are few, my guide is reliable, my mission is clear. I cannot be bought, compromised, detoured, lured away, divided, or delayed. I will not finch in the face of sacrifice, hesitate in the presence of the adversary, negotiate at the table of the enemy, ponder at the pool of popularity, or meander in the maze of mediocrity. I won't give up, shut up or let up until I have stayed up, stored up, and paid up for the cause of Christ. I must go till He comes, give till I drop, preach till all know, and work till He stops me. And when He returns for His own, He will have no problem recognizing me. My banner will be clear."

I'm a Mormon

2009-05-27T11:12:00.002-07:00

I'm a Mormon.

I'm a Mormon.
I believe that God is my literal Father
I know that Jesus Christ is my Savior
How? From the Spirit

I'm a Mormon.
I believe that Jesus Christ's original church was restored
I know that this was done through the prophet Joseph Smith
How? Because I prayed about it

I'm a Mormon.
I believe that I lived with God before
I know that I can be with Him again, by following His plan for me
How? By accepting and following Christ

I'm a Mormon.
I believe that we must have faith in Jesus Christ
I believe that we must repent and follow Him
I believe that we must be baptized in His name
I know that He'll bless us with the Holy Spirit
How? Because I tested Him, and He kept His promise

I'm a Mormon.
I believe that this life is a small part of our eternal existence
I know that God is personally aware of and involved with each of our lives
How? Because I've felt Him

I'm a Mormon.
I believe in the Bible as a history of the Jews and the Book of Mormon as a history of the America's
I know that both are true
How? Because I read them

I'm a Mormon.
I believe that Christ is my Savior and my King, my Lord and my God
I know that all that come unto Him will have everlasting life
How? By accepting Him

I'm a Mormon.

http://www.mormon.org

Florida (& Georgia) Revisited

2009-05-27T11:12:00.001-07:00

*Jonathan's band is practicing upstairs as I write this, so if this doesn't make sense, it's 'cuz I can't hear myself think! ;)

So this past week I was able to go back and visit my mission. It was awesome to bring my family along and introduce them to my "mission peeps". Here's a rundown of the week:
-Saturday we fly all day, eat dinner at Checkers on Dunn Ave, my mom comments on how many sirens keep going by (snicker... Dunn Ave... HA!)
-Sunday we go to church in Lake City, which was especially awesome because all 4 wards were combined for Easter (for those who don't know, I served in all but one of those wards!) Then we went to Sister Nettles (Nana) along with the Crawfords for a low-country boil, which was pretty much amazing! Then we saw a few other families, including the Parkers, who are AWESOME!!! Dinner at Moe's!
-Monday we spent the day in St. Augustine. I'd never been there before, but figured it'd be good. We took Elders Thacker & Huff out to lunch (I served with Thacker for 6 weeks), then did a train ride tour thru the city, which finally landed us at the Ripley's Believe it or Not museum, which was pretty darn cool! We also found a shop with a gazillion different hot sauces & salsas to sample... heaven! As we were driving back, my family experienced 2 firsts: Firehouse subs, and a Florida rainstorm. Then that night I drove up to the Dunn Ave apt all by my lonesome to hang out for a little bit with my second trainee, Elder Hendrickson.
-Tuesday was another chill day. We slept in, then Alyssa Smith from Lake Butler met up with us and we all went to see Monsters vs. Aliens, which I thought was pretty good. We dropped mom off at the hotel (she was tired) and then headed to Adventure Landing, where we played 3 games of lazer tag, and 2 of miniature golf. Because I was already familiar with the lazer tag course, I pretty much rocked it... until everyone decided to turn on me! Then as we drove home, we totally rocked on the way home, bass up, windows down! ... Dad even got into it a little bit!
-Wednesday morning we had breakfast with President & Sister Newman at Cracker Barrel, which was FAN-FREAKING-TASTIC!!! Then we drove to Gainesville... specifically Paynes Prairie where we checked out the alligators. However, we discovered that in the middle of the afternoon, gators are totally boring! From there we drove to Lake City, where we ate pineapple ice with the Nettles (and Mom even jumped off of their roof on a rope swing!), hung out with the Morses (minus Bishop, 'cuz he felt like making a living and serving the Lord were more important than us... ha! ;) ), ate dinner at the Womacks, and then we hung out with the Waters and the Hansens. SO MUCH FUN!!!
-Thursday was another sleep-in morning, then we headed out to Orange Park. We saw Quinn, had dinner with the Sanders and Gonzalez's (and afterward we just sat around and jammed with them for an hour!), chatted with Jaime Grieve, and then ended up at the missionaries apartment, where me & Jonathan spent the night. Tom (our awesome neighbor) even made country-fried-steak for the occasion!!! Then me, Jonathan, Elder VG, and Elder Weathers stayed up a bit too late talking. ;)
-Friday was BUSY! While the Elders were doing their weekly planning, Jonathan and I taught a lady, then visited Whitney Carroll. We met back up with Elders VG (my 4th trainee) and Huntsman (his greenie) for lunch, then went on a trade-off. Jonathan went tracting with VG while I went with Huntsman. Man I miss the work! I was nervous because I hadn't done it in so long, but it was like riding a bike! (and the Spirit sure helped too!). The rest of the day I kept my family on a rigid schedule to see everyone. We saw Charlene Burns (who was the last person I ever taught as a missionary... she was baptized March 7th along with her daughter), had lunch with the Jarvis' and Kempsters at Texas Roadhouse, then saw the Geralds and Elder Kenworthy (my 1st greenie) at the church. From there we went to dinner with Sister Raffa, a quick visit to Chelsey Vowles, and then brownies and peanut butter pce cream with the Vinsons. Whew! We drove 'home' that night tired and FULL!!!
-Saturday morning we drove to Fernadina beach, but the water was gross and it was really windy, so we didn't stay too long. We met Will "Primo" for lunch, checked out some of the shops, and then we went to see "State of Play", which was pretty good!
-Sunday we got up really early to make it to 9am church in Darien. Sister Padgett taught Sunday school (which I was VERY excited about). Then we made a quick stop to see David Huffman. We talked to him for about 30 minutes outside, whilst the Georiga state bird, the sand gnat, reintroduced itself to me. We had dinner at Bro. John's house, where he made Jambalaya. Then I took a totally awesome nap on his totally awesome couch, while he told my parents "one or two" stories (ha!). On our way back that night we drove thru Brunswick so I could show my family what it looked like. I even rolled down the window so they could really get a "taste" of what it smelled like.

So, I knew that I missed the mission, but going back was kinda like reopening an old wound (in the best way possible)... I realized how much I miss it. I dearly loved my 2 years serving there... definitely the best 2 years, so far, of my life. It also helped me to remember some of the goals that I had set for myself as I was preparing to leave. Some of them I've done well in, others I have not. I resolved to do them! I am going to have daily scripture study, PERIOD! I'm also gonna limit my TV watching, and instead opt to find some good books to read.

After a week of eating southern cooking (and gaining probably 10 pounds!) I have also resolved to exercise 6 days a week, and eat healthy. I feel gross right now, which is serving as even greater motivation to stick to it!

So, all in all, it was a GREAT trip. I can't wait to go back. Umm, the end?!

PS- don't feel bad if we didn't take a picture with ya, I was kinda thrifty with the picture taking, seeing as I've already got pictures with all of ya!

Random everything

2009-05-27T11:11:00.000-07:00

OK, It's been 2+ years since I've written a "note", so this one is going to be a rambling extravaganza of tons of random crap. Enjoy!

First off... missions are awesome! Florida is awesome! Once you get past the humidity, mosquitos, and sand-gnats, you realize how cool the people are and how much God loves them. It was my great honor to serve them each and every day, and in the process grow much closer to the Lord and become a little bit more like the man He wants me to be. It was definitely the best 2 years SO FAR of my life, although I plan on my life continuing to get even better! But I think that it'll be the fastest I'll ever progress in a 2 year period.

My goal now is to stay my ground and continue to grow closer to the Lord in a world that seems to be moving farther and farther away from Him. I don't want to get lost in that shuffle. On my mission I've learned a lot about goal setting, and writing them down, even letting others know about them as to be more accountable. I want to keep the habits I learned: daily scripture study and prayer, weekly temple attendance, and I want to continue to have the joy of sharing the gospel of Jesus Christ with others. For those of you whom I love that aren't members of the church, I will never push it or force it, and please know that. When I share it with you it's because I have gained incredible peace and happiness from it, and it would be selfish for me to not share it. So, expect more on that front...

Life on the home front: I now have a job, working at Mimi's Cafe again. Tonight I finished my 2nd day of training, which so far consists of shadowing another server. Oh so much fun! It's frustrating to not know everything, when I DID know everything last time, ya know? I've got most of this week off and then I work Fri & Sat mornings, and after that I'm on my own, and I CAN'T WAIT!!! Things have slowed down with the economy, so I really need to set myself apart so I can get the hours and the tips I need to make the money I need.

I've seen a few movies, although I haven't had a crazy marathon movie night or anything like I once expected I would. The first movie I saw when I got home was "Enchanted" (we thought we'd start off nice and easy). It was great! I got to see The Dark Knight on the IMAX and it was AMAZING!!! Heath Ledger definitely deserved the oscar that he got last night. I also finally saw The Prestige, which came out right before I left for Florida. For most of the movie I was thinking "Uh, what's the hype?" but then the end came and it threw me so I'l definitely have to watch THAT again and try to pick up those pieces. I also saw Kung Fu Panda, which might be one of the most worthless uses of an hour and 1/2 I've ever had. Yeah a few parts were funny, but really I didn't like it. Sue me! I'm still waiting anxiously to see Cloverfield. I saw a preview for it on my mission and have wanted to see it very badly ever since.

I'm going to be in Utah next week. I'm flying in Tuesday morning and leaving Thursday night. If you're in Happy Valley, I totally want to try and see you, so let me know! My priority is my cousins of course, but I want to make the most of those 3 days.

Hmmm... what else? Oh! Our family got to go to Hawaii last week, my first time. The plane ride over was miserable, as it was my 3rd consecutive day with a sinus infection/migraine... but once I got drugs to help me everything was smooth sailing (at least for me... I'm pretty sure I gave it to my dad. Oops!) I thought we'd just be lazing about on the beach, but we only did that twice. We were busy! We went on a sailboat, we drove this road with a lot of scenic points to stop at, we tried to drive up to a volcano until we realized that the crazy altitude was giving me another migraine so we had to turn around (I became rather grouchy for those few minutes!), and we went on a snorkeling trip that ended up just being a whale-watching trip because the wind was too crazy and it wasn't safe for us to get in the water. Somehow in between all of that I also read/finished Harry Potter #7, which was very good although I think I would've gotten more out of it if I'd remembered what the heck happened in the other 6 books. Oh well, I guess thats what movie's are for, right?

So I got a calling in church! I'm going to be in the primary, team-teaching the 11-12 year old boys with David Sandhu... quite the pair, eh? It should be way fun, and I'm excited for it.

Well, I think that's enough randomness for now, although as you all know the random thought will surely continue throughout time. I'll write more later. If you got this far, I totally congratulate you. Talk to ya soon! Call me!!! (unless you're Ryan or Jenni, who I still totally need to call) ;)

it has begun

2007-01-28T11:14:00.000-07:00

OK, as of tomorrow I'm gone! I wrote an intro post on my mission blog, and I'll be sending weekly updates to my brother to post. See you on the other side!

Love, Elder Borgia

2007-01-15T21:55:00.000-07:00

OK, so in 2 weeks I will be entering the Missionary Training Center, on my way to a 2 year mission in Florida. However, I still want to keep y'all updated on my life (boring as it may be). SO, I will be emailing my brother weekly updates to post on my new blog (created just minutes ago!): Love, Elder Borgia. There is a link on this site. So yeah! Feel free to write me as well! (my address for both the MTC and in Florida is in my profile)

"The Lost Sheep"

2007-01-14T00:58:00.001-07:00

A friend of mine wrote this, and it really touched me:

I am just one sheep.
Of the flock I am the hundredth.
Safe I am at the Shepherd's feet,
No ravening wolf hunteth.

So many sheep under His watchful eye,
Each is numbered, so they say,
But who would've thought that even I
Would someday go astray?

In a wilderness of sorrows I was lost.
What worth is a soul of mine?
But for me He paid the cost
And left the ninety-and-nine.

Then through the darkened mist I hear
That still, small, familiar voice.
It is my Shepherd drawing near!
It is time to make my choice.

I cry: "Why have you come for me?
I've wandered much to far."
He answers: "Handle me and see,"
In each palm---a scar.

On my knees I bow to the ground,
I need no more uncharted roam,
For after me He sought, and me He found,
On the Savior's shoulders I'm carried home.

~By:

Abigail L. Billin

Paula Abdul is DENINITELY on something...

2007-01-12T19:39:00.000-07:00

I've found my inner old-woman!

2007-01-10T13:01:00.001-07:00

This is ridiculous!

Celebrity Look-Alikes

2007-01-10T03:39:00.001-07:00

OK, so Beth inspired me, and I did the whole celebrity look-a-like thing. I think the funniest result I got was Mother Theresa. Anyway...

http://www.myheritage.com

Where did everybody go?

2007-01-10T03:30:00.001-07:00

So, I knew that this would happen, but nothing quite prepared me for it. EVERYONE'S GONE! (except for Margot, thank GOODNESS for that!) Everybody has left me for school, and so I sit bored at home. :( I am waaaay excited to be going on a mission, but I just wish I could have left for the MTC a week ago. Oh well, I guess there's a reason for everything, right?

Anyway... moving on from my complaining (I promise it really isn't as bad as I'm making it sound). I am LOVING being home in California (today was sunny and in the 60's, I wore shorts, a t-shirt, and flip-flops... NO toe-socks needed!!!) ;) However, being at home is a bit stressful, and a kind of weird feeling. I'll try to explain it. It's like, I've changed at school, a lot (at least thats what I'd like to think) and when I come home people expect me to be my old self, the person that I used to be, that I didn't like to be. I find myself falling back into old habits and trains of thought, because it's what I'm used to in this environment. So thats why I've decided that, once I go back to school in fall 2009, I'm not ever going to move back. Too stressful to move every 6 months, and too stressful to keep transitioning. Oh well, thanks for putting up with that rant (and I apologize if it doesn't make sense, it is 2:15am you know!)

Liberal Hippy Lecture

2006-12-19T15:48:00.000-07:00

OK, so I've found myself lecturing, so I'm going to write it down, and then leave it alone (well at least I'll try!) So this semester I was in a Sociology class on social problems, and I absolutely loved it, even though every day I walked out of that class more and more convinced that this world sucks. "Why do you love it?" Is what I can sense you asking. (At least that question is what works best for this discussion, so I'll pretend thats what you'll say). Even though this class showed how huge some problems of our day are, such as poverty, unequal education, drugs and violence; this class also showed how they are not insurmountable problems. So, we just have to stop acting like they are. I can make a difference. YOU can make a difference. Many individuals all acting alone to help foster change will eventually create a group. Even if the difference is small, its a difference. So stop saying to yourself that there's nothing you can do when you're watching the news, stop ignoring the homeless guy on that street corner, stop pretending that these social problems don't affect you. That is what I have learned, and that's probably the best thing I've learned all semester.

Snowy Serenity

2006-12-16T16:28:00.000-07:00

OK, last night went on for a while. You see, it randomly snowed last night, rather unexpectedly. So, after driving home, I decided to go on a walk. It was so beautiful, still snowing, untouched. Pure sparkly white. I probably walked around for about 30 or 45 minutes, just contemplating, mediating. It was so good to just relieve my finals stress, my moving stress, my mission stress, my life stress. I came back feeling so refreshed, I've decided to make that a tradition; whenever it snows a lot, to go out and take a walk in the middle of the night. I highly suggest it.

Wine, Cheese, and Amazingness!

2006-12-16T16:27:00.000-07:00

OK, so it was Martinelli's, but wine & cheese sounds better than Martinelli's & cheese. Anyway... last night I went over to Liberty Square to visit some of my friends from my freshman ward (GO 242!!!) So we had the aforementioned beverages and cheese, as well as other goodies. THEN... we watched the most amazing movie in the world, "Moulin Rouge", and then we rented (ha!) and watched "Rent", which I'd never seen before. Even though it was slightly (OK, very) scandalous, I LOVED it, especially the music. I got home (after my death-defying drive!) and bought the soundtrack off of iTunes, because I loved it that much.

And speaking of the drive home, wow. The most scary part was leaving Liberty Square. You see, I parked underground, and the ramp out is pretty steep, and because it snowed last night, it was really slippery, and I had to totally gun it to get out, and then drive 10mph the whole way home! Scariness!!!

Death by finals

2006-12-12T15:23:00.000-07:00

OK, so I'm feeling a tid bit overwhelmed. For almost the entire semester, I was breezing my way through. However, all of the sudden, hell has broken loose in Provo! This past weekend consisterd of a dress rehearsal, and 3 televised choral concerts, along with a radio broadcast. PLUS my mom's parents were in town, so obviously I wanted to spend some time with them. THEN... this week I have 4 papers due, a midterm, and a final. Then next week will be composed of 5 finals, and packing everything I own into my honda and driving for 13 hours back to California to arrive on Christmas eve, because the BYU administration, for some reason, decided it would be better to have school a whole week later than last year! AAACCCKKK!!! And on top of that, because I'm not going to see a lot of these people whom I call my friends ever again! :( or at least for 2 1/2 years, I feel like I have to be a part of every social event, which is not conducive to good studying.

However, tonight will be a nice break. The BYU Men's Chorus, all 210 0f us, are going to sing at a Christmas party in SLC, for... the ENTIRE first presidency, quorum of the twelve, and first quorum of the seventy! Wow, talk about spiritual and musical overload! SO, wish us luck! I'll let you know how I do in my next death defying stunt, living through finals week!

15 Things to do at Wal-Mart when your going to be in there for a long time

2006-12-08T00:12:00.000-07:00

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares.... and see what happens.

5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using
different size funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"

15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and,
then, yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here! '

Cleveland

2006-12-07T23:53:00.001-07:00

OK, so this past weekend I had the amazing opportunity to visit my "big sister" Laurie in Cleveland, OH. I loved every minute of it. We were up until 4am both nights just talking about high school, about theatre, about boys (her interests) and girls (my interest), and basically about life. Then we went to Kirtland and took a tour of the Kirtland temple. Its owned and operated by the Community of Christ (RLDS) church. It was so weird to take a tour of a temple and not have the guide bear testimony of the special things that happened there. Right after we went to the LDS visitors center in historic Kirtland, and right away there was a totally different spirit. So yeah, thats my story.

The Guardian

2006-12-07T22:07:00.001-07:00

So last night I went to see "The Guardian" with my friend Jenni. Wow. That has to be one of the best movies that I've seen in a really long time. It just makes you feel good! I highly recommend that everyone go and see it! I left the movie feeling really content and uplifted!

And it was sooo fun, before that me & Jenni got some ice cream, saw Rachel!, glared at her, and then had the most ice cream we had ever eaten, while having a sociological discussion! (we are SOOOO talented!)

Creepy Pickup Lines

2006-12-07T22:07:00.000-07:00

OK, so today me & my roommates were watching this weird dating show on TV called "Parental Control". On it, some kid used a really weird line, that went something like this: "You are the beautiful unicorn jumping through the crystal waterfalls of my soul." I was inspired, and when Margot came over tonight after dinner, we got right to work. So here are some that we came up with. Watch how they get increasingly more sappy as time went on (these are in chronological order)

"Your voice is the melodious music that lulls me into my dreams" -me

"Your feet are tip-toeing along the pathways of my heart" -me

"Your soul is like a dove, calling to me from the sunrise of our eternity" -me

"Youe eyes are like a lighthouse, glistening in the moonlight to lead me safely home." -me

"Your nostrils are gulfs in the depths of our love" -me

"Your hands are the warm breeze of life bringing me out of the sorrows of reality." -me

"Your lips are the trumpet of love, calling me to the warmth of your embrace." -me

"Your eyebrows are whisks of sensuality drawn on by the paintbrush of Aphrodite." -me

"Your neck is a pillar of sunshine emblazening the emptiness of my life."-me

"Your love is my constant foundation in a world controlled by chaos." -me

"Your laughter is like a chorus of angels which bring me from misery to amazement, from pessimism to gratitude." -me

"Your anguish tears apart my soul, penetratingmy deepest emotions." -me

"Your hair, glistening in the moonbeams of our existence, radiates your loving countenance." -me

"Your companionship makes me, although poor, feel higher than the richest king." -me

"The warmth of your spirit warmed my icy soul." -margot

"Your loving embrace makes my soul take flight." -margot

"The pleasures of heaven do not compare with the joys of your presence." -margot

So there you have it. Creepy, but still, special. Maybe I should quit school and write poetry for the rest of my life. (or not). Feel free to leave a comment with your own creepy declaration of love!

Mission Call

2006-12-07T22:06:00.000-07:00

Dear Elder Borgia:

You are hereby called to serve as a missionary of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. You are assigned to labor in the FLORIDA JACKSONVILLE Mission. It is anticipated that you will serve for a period of 24 months.

...

YAY!!!! I am SO excited you don't even know! I report to the MTC on Wednesday, January 31, 2007. Woot woot!!! It still hasn't really sunk in, kinda surreal, but I know that Florida is where the Lord wants me.

Support our Troops

2006-12-07T22:03:00.000-07:00

If you go to this web site, http://www.letssaythanks.com/ , you can pick out a thank you card and Xerox will print it and it will be sent to a soldier that is currently serving in Iraq.

You can't pick out who gets the card, but it will go to some member of the armed services.

How AMAZING it would be if we could get everyone we know to send one!!!

This is a great site. Please send a card. It is FREE and it only takes a second.

Wouldn't it be wonderful if the soldiers received a bunch of these?

Whether you are for or against the war, our guys and gals over there need to know we are behind them...

Catching up

2006-12-07T22:02:00.000-07:00

So yes, I know that I didn't really live up to my promise, but here's a start. Here's the highlights of my MySpace blog, and pretty soon I'll put up current schtuff. Enjoy!

Change of Plans

2006-11-29T13:19:00.000-07:00

OK, so I deleted my MySpace because I got fed up with all of the smut. So, I've decided to actually keep this updated, even if it is only for the 2 months before I leave for the MTC. So, I don't really have time now, but I felt like saying that. Look for new posts coming soon!

So...

2006-10-19T00:05:00.000-07:00

OK, I've got a confession to make. I have no real desire to regularly update this Blogger thing right now. I pretty much just signed up so I could comment on other peoples! Its very possible that at some future date, I will be strangely drawn to it, and, like, write my whole life story. However, the time is not now. But if for some strange reason you still want to read about my boring life, I DO have a MySpace which I regularly update, so just go to:
http://www.myspace.com/jsbmhca_717
OK? So yeah, have a great who-knows-how-long!